September 30, 2021
“Thirty days, thirty days,” I mumble a bit at the last month. September contains the popular decorating notion to flip to orange color harvest decorations. I resist until I see the leaves paint themselves in golds, then reds, orange and browns.
I want to be one with trees!
My September was a month of change to a degree that I could not ignore. I changed jobs…same corporation, but different city and different position. I startled myself with the definitive nature of the decision. And I became more startled when the corporation and fate seemed to align.
“Yes,” seemed to be the answer in my universe. “Yes, it is time for you to move on.”
Gulp. That is not my usual mode. What began as an almost accidental inquiry seemed to crack open an opportunity. For weeks I worked in a stunned mode of my own while changes occurred. And a career path opened wider still.
At least that’s the way it seemed. Usually I would debate with myself or hesitate or question. Even now I soften the change by thinking “well, even if.” It is the backhand of “what if” thinking that usually proves to be wasteful of ones time and energy. Sometimes I like the game of what if’s.
That mind game is safe, is it not?
No, Steph, no. You wanted the challenge. You wanted the change. And it occurred. (Insert two gulps here. Did I just admit I wanted the challenge?)
I found myself changing personally as well as changing my position. I must have wanted that change as well.
Health. I had not been taking care of myself. I returned to morning yoga. Now as impressive as that sounds, let’s be real. I am barely in form. What pleases me most is that I am consistently exercising. My new position at work has me transversing the store for ten hours. I like the activity of my days.
My body needed to be in better shape. At the end of thirty days, my body moves easier. I am less tired. And I just added evening weights to my repertoire. I needed more devoted exercise as I wanted leg strength.
I found I could not get all the exercise in a morning session. Took me forever to realize I needed weight training and the only way to get it done was exercise in the evening.
Sounds like a lot of me time, doesn’t it? I had difficulty realizing that ‘me’ time is necessary. Actually it is critical! Maybe that’s just me?
I do not really know in comparison. What is normal? All I know is that fifty six years have taught me I need a lot of me time in order to be healthy.
Therefore it is yoga and dance mornings and weights in the evening. Somewhere along the way I want to add regular extras like swimming and riding simply because I like them.
That realization has taken the thirty days too. I really like some activities that I have given up. That’s ok, but Steph! Do them!!
I shake my head in disbelief. I spent a great deal of time thinking about lots of aspects of life without realizing I need to do them.
So, when people ask me what I would say to a younger me? Oh my goodness, please, I would say “Just do it. Go for it!”
Live and learn, I suppose. But September 2021 made me change and keep changing. I decided to not conclude. I decided to change!
Oh my goodness!
Besides exercise of course are sleep and diet. The sleep part I have wired. The eating part I am getting to a healthy spot of really thinking that I am fueling a biology. Simple as that. And yet so complicated!
I found my soul at odds with my usual creativity. Photography and writing seemed to be on ‘pause’, but I still cannot understand why.
On September 11, I planted the indoor herb garden my mother had given me a half year ago. In these two and a half weeks, my little collection of Italian parsley, basil and oregano have grown to heights exceeding the edge of their containers. (My photographic efforts comprised of almost daily pictures from ground breaking forward. While I am fascinated, I am fairly certain such progressive photos might not be wildly, widely interesting).
Along the course of the month, I decided to ‘give in’ to my love of flowers, art and all of it. I just gave in. I think I had been fighting a bit with myself on the meaning and necessity of everything I loved.
(Now that seems counterproductive and quite frankly, a total downer…)
Why not just love it all? Why not…
Just do it, Steph?
September taught me to harvest roses, snap photos and more photos…
September taught me to smile and work hard. Enjoy it, Steph. Why not challenge yourself to be brilliant?
I have started and restarted after some of the most miserable failures. But…
And on the last days of the month, it might just all come together.
Love. Lots of love. Loads of it even…